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About Me Member Angsty Poet withdrawncataclysm20/Female/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 4 Years
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Are you there God? It's me, the atheist.

Wed Mar 25, 2009, 11:13 PM
Today I was looking through the philosophy section of the half-priced books in Redmond, craving an answer. In my many years of being an atheist I've never been an exorable person, so no one has really ever been able to convince me otherwise. But lately being an atheist has come with such a feeling of emptiness, and feels more like a lethargic past time than a stance. I've been trying to fill this void by indulging in my curiosities towards the tarot, superstitions, and palmistry. I don't believe in these things at really any level but when I study them the void seems to lessen, and I am suddenly more okay with the world. I was raised Lutheran throughout my childhood, but having a Jewish mother while being raised christian didn't exactly keep me from thinking religion was a silly thing. My father was always the religious one, but even not being that religious my mother was appalled by the thought that I didn't believe in God. She begged for me to be at least agnostic, so that I would be just questioning and not downright rejecting the idea of there being a God.

So the question remains, is this emptiness me becoming less of an atheist or just becoming more of an open minded person? It takes a pretty intrepid person to outright say, "I don't believe in a higher power" when most of the living population does. But this doesn't mean I should be an atheist out of pride, out of knowing no one can really tell me I was wrong. For some reason it seems easier to tell a religious person they're wrong than an atheist, but truly they're on the same playing field. I'm afraid that I've found some sort of safety in not believing in God, and I hope this is not the sole reason I've catered to this nihilistic part of me for oh so long.

  • Mood:
  • Listening to: Breaking Benjamin - "Break My Fall"
  • Reading: "Learning the tarot" - by Joan Bunning
  • Watching: Kill Bill 2

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Devious Info

  • Current Residence: In a hospitable amoeba
  • Interests: Poetry, photography, painting, twenty-five cent machines, death, misanthropy and cochroaches.
  • Favourite movie: A Clockwork Orange
  • Favourite band or musician: Bright Eyes, Placebo, Blonde Redhead, Silversun Pickups, Leaves' Eyes.
  • Favourite genre of music: Industrial, Alternative Rock, Indie Rock.
  • Favourite artist: Camille Rose Garcia
  • Favourite poet or writer: Charles Bukowski, Charles Baudelaire
  • Favourite photographer: Marco Tenaglia
  • Favourite style of art: Styles are just limits.
  • Favourite game: Miss Pacman! She's my favorite wet dream...
  • Favourite cartoon character: Daria and Buttercup from the Powerpuff Girls
  • Personal Quote: "Life is great, if you didn't have it, you'd be dead."
  • Tools of the Trade: A pen, paper and my SLR camera.

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Comments


I thought I should say, I really like your daria icon =]

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By the way, Daria is fucking rad.

Nice taste.

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thanks for the fave! :hug:

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Hey! I didnt know you had a DA. Thanks for adding me. =)

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